How much fun is this? Soil acidity affects a body’s rate of decomposition. Unless you’ve received the electric chair. I’m just commentating. Otherwise, in my free time, I thoroughly enjoy sleeping. It’s like waiting for the bomb squad, but quicker. Every time I see a passing car slow down, the faster I walk. A lot of things that used to be misdemeanors, are now felonies, but that doesn’t explain the invisible force fields or the unnecessarily relaxed lawn furniture. If you’ve come here to complain, you’ve come the right place. I think the boss just stepped out for a minute to attend his impeachment ceremony. No, no trouble at all. The last time we had an explosion in the lobby, we nearly lost our niche market. People were running around yelling, You call this a party? I warned them, You can’t control audience participation. The only surviving witness said, The suspect was driving a late model Crème Brule, but the two investigating officers were so busy arresting one another, they refused to take any testimony for fear it might ruin their careers. Ok, they said, so what if we’re in law enforcement? It’s not exactly a crime, you know.